IT crowd

IT people are the same everywhere, aren't they?

Glasgow uni operates some kind of weirdo wireless system with a client and a tunnel and try-turning-it-on-and-off-again launch method.
I couldn't get onto the wireless at the library, though I had tried my darnedest to. I look my lappy off to the IT help centre for some TLC. I apologised for being a dummy, professed my limited knowledge of computer science and signed a disclaimed to leave my computer in the hands of someone more competent. Turns out it wasn't my fault. My anti-virus software was so good it wasn't recognising the uni's network. Sweet. So I sat in the IT help centre room with two huge IT nerds for a good half hour as my firewall and malware protection was switched off and command codes were entered and buttons clicked etc.
Here are some of the observations I made about the generalised similarities of IT professionals:

1. They dress the same. Mountain Design or equivalent outdoor-adventure style lace up shoes. Just in case they need to scale a rock face to get to the motherboard. Either slacks of nondescript cut that are any colour other than black, or the kind that have multiple pockets down the leg (possibly zip off below the knee). Of the two guys in the office, one was Glaswegian and a bit older (late 20s) with hair long enough to tuck behind his ears. He wore a short sleeved button-up collared shirt with green and orange vertical stripes. The second guy- possibly my age, and with a German accent- wore a hoodie with some kind of abstract logo on the front.

2. Their work space is the same. A small space tacked on towards the end of the library/computer room that makes a decent effort at utilising room dividers to evoke a sense of 'this room is ours and we shall divide it as we see fit'. Along one wall there are filing cabinets and shelves with books and manuals. There are boxes of things that you won't recognise piled up and a decent stack of wads of printing paper. To the walls are tacked cartoons and funny in-joke images. There was a green tree frog. A cartoon of stick figures walking through the tundra with a punch line something like- 'all I keep thinking about is how this will make a great blog entry'. 'Worst Employee of the Week' posters with images of people about to have a huge accident at work or doing something silly and generally accepted as hilarious by those in the know in the world of IT. There is a picture of a cat sitting inside a hard drive with the words 'Don't Worry, I'm with Tech Support' across the top.

3. They have the same level of humility in social situations. A girl walks in to a very small room with two men who are both on swivel chairs. There is little room for a third person in this space. One man swivels around to face the girl and says: 'You can stand if you like, but there's a chair over there.' [point's to broken swivel chair in the corner that has lost the mechanism to go up and down] Then the cracker: 'All the cool people are sitting and you can pretend if you like.'
Was that funny? Or did it just fill the silence?

4. Conversation can often focus on the incompetence of the general public and how astounding it is that people can be so stupid.
Glaswegian man: OH, I met this woman on the weekend who managed to talk about credit malfunction (I think that's what he said??) for almost an hour without using a single noun!
German guy: WHAT???!!!
Glaswegian: YES! Not a SINGLE noun!
German: Waaaaaaaaoo!
Glaswegian: slkdbaskj sdfasdkfakdf (unintelligible Glaswegian words). She would say 'the thingamy' and 'the niddlenaddle'. Later I said to her 'did you mean the process router? (he used some kind of technical word here which I cannot remember) and she said oh yeah'. That's NOT what she SAID though!
German: Oh my God! Wow!

5. Mac V PC is a real and on-going debate for IT professionals. 'Ah, you're problem is you are using a Mac. They are computers for children; I hate them.'

6. They fix things. My computer could then access the internet.

While I was in there they also dragged out a shredding machine from about 1981. Mission brown plastic casing and far too noisy. When the guy switched it on at the wall it blew a puff of paper dust into the air as if coughing back to life. It could handle only about 8 pages at once, anything more was too thick. I was offered a go, of which I duly accepted! IT shredding fun!